If I knew then what I know now...

you know how Facebook gives you those memories from “this day” throughout your Facebook experience? Well Facebook reminded me that on this day twelve years ago, I was struggling with planning my wedding. I have to laugh now at my own comment. Why do we need a guest list?! Because we were paying $27 a plate! Because we needed to know how much cake and how many cupcakes to get! Because you have to keep track of who will be there somehow!

I remember now that the guest list and the subsequent seating of those guests was one of the nightmares of planning that wedding. My then-fiancé and I both come from large Ukrainian families, with aunties and uncles and cousins galore. We were young and desperately did not want to insult anyone by not including them in what we were sure would be the wedding of the century. We wanted to be sure that each of our guests was comfortable and looked after. We struggled with our own expectations of ourselves and our perception of our family and friends expectations. Communication between he and I was not optimal, and we bartered with each other over who was included and who was left out. We battled and struggled to have an equal number of loved ones at our wedding because imagine if I had a handful more supporters than he did or vice versa!!

As AM Event Coordination moves into a busy summer season, which includes a number of weddings, my self from twelve years ago is a good reminder of the struggle my clients might be feeling as we move towards their wedding day. I try to remind my clients that those expectations and societal norms they feel so much pressure to live up to don’t have to be adhered to at all! A wedding should be a reflection of the couple. I love to think of a weddingas more than the union of a couple, but as an experience to be shared and enjoyed and remembered with happiness.

And so, to my self of twelve years ago, I would say:

You need that guest list, create the ultimate list, and include every person you would want at your wedding. Now create the budget-conscious list, how many people can you afford to have at the wedding? Now merge the two lists. Rank the things that are important to you, and if inviting all 300 distant cousins ranks high enough on the scale, then you’ll find a way to have them there, but you might have to sacrifice the videographer along the way! 😉